So I'm having a bit of a stressful time. You see, I am in the last two week stretch before finals week, which means I have a hell of a lot to do. I love my classes, but it seems everything is just piling up all at once, and I'm not one to let things just get worse and worse. It doesn't help that there are some external stresses going on, including a family stresser.

So on Wednesday I was pissed off that I had to be in class while it was sunny and warm, and a really great day outside. I was working on my most recent art project for my 3-dimensional art class (we're chiseling plaster sculptures). I was working on the top of my sculpture about 20 minutes before class officially let out, and I hit it and it cracked in two. I started freaking out, and I couldn't even form words. I just started laughing and crying at the same time, knowing that I only had two weeks to finish it. I was a mess. My teacher was no help either. He seems to think lesser of me, either because I'm a girl, or because I'm not really one to take all his bullshit, I rather call him on it. I sat there for about 30 minutes, class was over, I hadn't cleaned up, but just sat there stareing at the broken mass in front of me wondering what in all hell I was going to do. I was startled a bit when the one really amazingly hot guy was standing next to me. He stayed and calmed me down, talking me through what I was going to do, and how I was going to do it in order to finish it on time. It was amazing of him to do, and I knew that I may have actually found a hot guy that wasn't gay and was really nice.

Then on Saterday I went to the mall with Lauren, she wanted to get her ears pierced again. I was looking at some of the earings, thinking about redoing my second holes when I realized I couldn't. Because I can't even get my ears pierced with out having my mommy or daddy with me because I am under the age of 18. I mean seriously, I can understand under 16, but seriously. I am annoyed out of my mind, esspecially because it just adds to the list of things I couldn't do with my friends just because I'm smart and motivated. It just irks me sometimes that 'adults' think that just because someone isn't 18 their minds are clouded.

The dred of Saterday didn't end with the ears, actually that was nothing compared to what was comming next. I had just stepped out of the shower, and was standing in the hall talking to Lauren in my towel when my phone rang. I ran back to my room and checked it seeing it was my mom, and answered it. She called to tell me that my grandmother has cancer again. My grandmother is in her 70's and has had cancer twice already, breast cancer and ovarian cancer, she beat it both times. This time she has renal cancer, it's in the kidney, and she is having surgery on the 12th of May. My mom is going to fly down to North Carolina to spend the time with her and help her recover. While she's gone I get to tend to everything up here. As well as getting my wisdom teeth removed. She's even showing me how to do the bills before she leaves just in case. I love my mom and I don't hold this agains't anyone, but I just feel all this stress comming on me all at once. I just wish that everything would just be easy for once. Just once I wish that I could be old enough to just hid away somewhere for a day or two, but one I don't have the money, and two I'm not old enought to do anything on my own except drive, and I don't have a car.

On a lighter note...
So I didn't have my 3-dimensional class again until today, but when I got into class I sat down and started doing exactly what we had talked about, and it hasn't broke yet (knock on wood). Anyway after class I went over to his table (he was still cleaning up) I sat down and looked at his sculpture and thanked him yet again for helping me. He and I started talking, and low and behold he took is sculpture and started working on it again. We sat in the classroom for over an hour and a half just talking about random things and sitting. We talked about work (he works at six flags as "Batman" hence the nickname) and school, family and relationships, all things, including the fact that he was 23 and not 27 like I thought he was. Still to old for me, but screw it he is amazing to look at, basically think swimmer and baseball player thrown into a guy who was a nerd in highschool, and knows how to dance. Not that I'll get anywhere other than being his friend, but at least it'll be interesting.

I wish that I had the guts to persue him, but I don't have the guts to put him in that position. I wouldn't do that to him, not to him. I hate this whole being illegal thing, it sucks. I don't have the patience to wait 6 months to be able to kiss a guy who I go to school with. I don't want to have to hold back everytime I get hit on just because I don't want to be put into the position of getting hurt because they don't want to risk it. I'm sick of having to be a tame version of me when I just want to be the real me. Is that so wrong.

Right now the underage part I can handle, but the stress I cant. But who knows maybe I'll find a bat signal. Well I can only hope.

Fee