So as if talking to guys isn't hard enough for me in the first place, I'm in a whole new universe here. Where guys can get arrested for doing anything with me. Now, I'm not exactly the dream girl, but I do have my "attributes". I wont go into what they are, but they are there. I just have this problem with connecting what I want to say, and how to say it when it comes to guys I think are cute. Like there's this guy in my Enlish class, who sits right next to me. He is mildly adorable, he kinda has that jock thing going on with a little bit of prep, but not to much. Normally not my style, but why not right. I saw him at the basketball game the other day, and when I looked him up on facebook I found out that he's only a little over a year older than me. But do I talk to him? The answer to that would be no. The most interaction we've had was today. We had peer review for a paper we're writing today, and we had to pass our papers around the room. I passed mine to him, and the girl in front of me passed hers to me. We were going pretty fast with the papers we were getting, so we kept passing them, and we would all finish then sit there. I feel like I'm a little crazy, cause' I really liked the fact that I got to look at him, and I know that sounds stalkerish, and kinda 8th grade, but hey, every girl likes some man candy. I feel like a crazed teenager (oh wait I am) but that is no excuse. I just want to get to kiss someone, which is probably a bad thing to say, but did you ever just want someone to hug you, and give you a kiss. I would like to maybe get a date out of it to, but I don't tend to hold my breath about those things. I guess it's more intense a thing since valentines day is literally 2 days away, and I'm stuck being single, and watching all the lovey dovey things going on around me. It's really really annoying to want to have someone to kiss, and not have someone to kiss. It's not like I get offers every time I leave the house, hell I haven't had a serious offer since my last boyfriend, then my rebound guy (only lasted two nights). I just feel annoyed at the whol thing I guess, or more at myself. I've even tried looking cute everyday this semester. I havent worn my baggy sweatshirt to school once, except to breakfast on Saterday when everyone wheres their pajamas. I think it may be that I want it to bad to actually get it. But I have this nagging feeling that no matter what I do I'm not going to get anything anyway. It's not like I want a hot older guy just to have one. I don't really have a choice when it comes to age except for older, unless people expect me to go search the highschools for dates. So what they can pick me up in their moms car, and have to be home by 10 on weekdays, no thank you. I'm sorry to say it, but I would not be a good influence on a highschool guy, even if I am smart. I'm not a nerd though I am kinda a geek in a hot way...hey sometimes I have to be shallow sorry. I like to think of myself as normal, though somethings about me aren't exactly normal. I wish that guys would see me the same way they do when they first meet me, when they find out how old I am, but that isn't always the case, okay well it's never really the case. I'm seventeen, and that means that I'm not legal. Though laws are much more lax not that I'm less than a year away from being an "adult". I put that in quotations because in my head and in my heart I'm already an adult. Scientists might say that my "brain is still developing" but I understand actions have effects. That affect everyones lives. I'm not some juvinile who is going around snaring guys who don't know what they're getting into. I'm a college co-ed, and I want to be able to date who I want when I want. I worked so hard to be able to get into college early and out of highschool. Should my already strained social life have to take a major side track because of it. I may be young, but that doesn't mean I'm any different from the people here. I take the same classes, and have to meet the same standards as everyone else does. Shouldn't that mean that I should be given the same chances as everyone else gets. I guess it gets down to the fact that most people are uncomfortable with me. That's the price you pay I guess when you're underage, and in a co-ed college.

I'll keep you updated

Fee